Dating Q&A

Here are just a few of the questions from the Q&A section at: http://www.lds.org/youth/dating/atoq.html

What is the purpose of dating as teenagers? If we aren’t “looking for someone” during high school, why bother dating at all?

For the Strength of Youth says, “Dating can help you develop lasting friendships and eventually find an eternal companion” ([2001], 24). Your ultimate goal is to spend eternity with Heavenly Father, and in His kingdom we will live as eternal families. So the ultimate goal of dating is to find an eternal companion you can make and keep temple covenants with. When you’re a teen, dating helps you learn how to interact with others, make friends, have fun, and learn and practice respect and courtesy. These skills will be helpful in your social interactions and then later in courtship and marriage.

“When you are old enough [age 16], you ought to start dating. It is good for young men and young women to learn to know and to appreciate one another. It is good for you to go to games and dances and picnics, to do all of the young things. We encourage our young people to date. We encourage you to set high standards of dating.”
President Boyd K. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “You’re in the Driver’s Seat,” New Era, June 2004, 5.
Other resources: Matthew and Janine Clarke, “Why Date?” New Era, Aug. 2006, 38.

Why do we wait to date until we’re 16?

Modern prophets have counseled us to follow this standard because they know that it will protect us and help us to be happy. Turning 16 isn’t necessarily a magical event that makes you suddenly ready to date. The counsel against dating before you’re 16 is based on principles of physical, emotional, and spiritual safety.

Don’t get stuck in the racetrack mentality—“ready, set, date!” It isn’t about dating as fast and furiously as you can the moment you turn 16. The age of 16 simply means you can now begin dating when you feel ready, starting with group dates.

Should guys really have to pay for every date?

Not necessarily, but if the young man is the one who asked the young woman out, he ought to pay. However, don’t fall into the bad habit of taking advantage of the one most willing or able to pay.

Dates don’t always have to cost money. With a little planning, ordinary activities can become dates, such as going for walks or playing games. Most teens don’t have enough money to go out to dinner and a movie regularly, so creative dating that doesn’t cost much is the thing to try. When two people enjoy each other’s company, then even simple activities can become fun and allow you to get to know each other better.

Should I date someone who is not LDS?

Possibly, but don’t date anyone (LDS or not) who, because of low standards, will drag you down. Including friends who share your standards in your group dating can build wonderful friendships and may create missionary opportunities.

How do you get out of a bad date?

If the group or activity makes you uncomfortable, ask your date to take you home or change the activity (such as leaving a bad movie). Let your parents know where you are going, and if you have a cell phone, use it when you need to. There is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. If nothing inappropriate is going on and you’re just not having a good time, then consider how you can help the situation without being rude to your date.